Thursday, May 6, 2010

Ways to answer our child curiosity about sex

"MOTHER, from where the little brother was born?". Have your child ask this? The attitude and the right answer will be the first step for you to give insight to the child about sex effectively.

You might think to delay talk about sex after the age of your child's big enough. But then, when a friend, relative, or your neighbor get pregnant and have babies, Child's curiosity led him to ask where babies come from.

The first time the question arises, perhaps you've turned her attention by saying, " Hey, look! Is that Dora the Explorer? ". However, until when you act like that? The delay will not eliminate their curiosity.

It is not enough to just answer that question, because he could kept asking, asking, and asking, in accordance with the development of the brain and the level of understanding. Sheknows give you tips on how to answer questions about the sex of your child.

Understanding questions

The first step to answer child sex question is, ensure that you understand what he asked. According to Dr. Susan Bartell, a family psychologist and author of "The Top 50 Questions Kids Ask".

Ask one or two questions before you give an answer also lets you see how much he already knew. You may be surprised to discover what he already knew from friends or relatives. This is when you fix incorrect information he had got.

Use age-appropriate language

If your child asks about where babies come from, it's time for you to answer. For starters, he might be ready to hear, "when a mother and father loved each other, they lie very close together and they make a baby," says Dr. Bartell. "If you feel compelled to explain the specific, for example, 'A mother has Miss V and the fathers have Mr.P. The father put it into Miss V's mother, and they can make a baby."

It is important for you to ensure that he should not share this information with anyone without your permission. "Be firm and strict about this," warned Dr. Bartell.

If he violates the rules, show the attitude that you do not like the fault now. In addition, "Please tell other parents what you have for your child. Let them think, that it was time the children learn about sex," he added.

Not supposed to say

Dr. Bartell asserted, do not give a clear answer, obviously fictitious, such as involving "storks", and do not say that the baby grows in the mother's abdomen and stopped there. "Your child may worry that she might become pregnant spontaneously. Explain that babies grow in a special place, which belongs only to adult women," she said.

When you talk with your child, Dr. Bartell recommended, ask lots of questions to ensure understanding. "Talk slowly, and stopped when their curiosity was satisfied. Do not tell them more than necessary at this stage of development," says Dr. Bartell. There is no reason to use the word "sex", unless he asks.

Special circumstances

If sex is the question asked by your foster child, give an honest explanation. He may be looking for extra assurance that he included in your family. Involve a large family to provide the correct information. Above all, he wanted to know that he was wanted and loved. So, make sure you tell them as often as possible.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Reward for the Child, is it necessary?

Children will be delighted given a gift, especially if they have done a commendable thing. However, what if the kids just want to do everything because there are rewards?

"I thank you for the toy, I was thrilled. Tomorrow I'm going to be a toy even more if I return the toy to its place. But if Mom does not give what I wanted, I'd better not have clean my toys."

It has become a habit for six-year-old child is doing something because there is a reward from his parents. Once because the mom did not want to make the child has a bad habit because it would only do something about the rewards, the child even rage, angry, and disappointed all day.

Finally his mother relented and was still giving the child something for good behavior he has done, in accordance with what he wanted. Psychologists say, that rewards or awards can be given when the child has positive behavior or achieve something that is expected.

The benefits of giving rewards to children are to teach them what a good boy and bad boy, to encourage children to repeat the good behavior, make children feel valued and rewarded. Awards can also foster self-confidence of children and the child's internal motivation, such as feeling proud of yourself and feel satisfied with the success of yourself.

However, there are several things that must be considered in the granting of rewards for children, for example, do not be so excessive as to give rewards. It is because if too much given then rewards will lose its meaning, among other rewards could be turned into a kind of wage. Therefore, in the provision of rewards, also grow a child's internal motivation so that over time dependence on rewards (external motivation) will be reduced.

For example, in addition to praise from parents, parents also can say 'well, would you also proud of yourself because you can already trying hard to get this result. giving rewards for not too much, and the rewards do not have to be good. What is important for children, instead of attention from parents.

Start from small things, such as a pat on the shoulder, smile happily from their parents, thumbs up, applause, hugs and soft kisses. Rewards should not be given too often to children, so that it can be said to provide rewards to make children a challenge.

Make it a challenge to get the rewards to be less meaningful, not too easy to get, for example, after three days of sleeping alone, the child will get her favorite sticker.

Some Psychologist also suggested to make the token system, where children have to collect a certain number of points, can be exchanged with new rewards, such as the child will get one point each time to help the mother in the kitchen. Having collected 20 points, he can trade them in time to watch TV

Also worth noting is to avoid giving rewards in the form of cash rewards. By giving money, then will make a child become misguided and mean wages.

"Giving rewards to your child can use a comparable system for each child, but can be distinguished depending rewardnya desire of each child.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Overcoming toddler's delinquency

Children, especially toddlers, desperately need attention from their parents, try to notice if a parent just busy doing something and as ignoring the toddler, a toddler will do anything to attract the attention of the mother or father.

And it is usually in the form of mischief or acts of nuisance, so usually the parent anger was hooked. When the circle of this process is always repeated, busy parents, childrenacting and parents become angry, then returned to the bustle, what a child might feel is disappointment. Not to mention the sayings pitched out of parents mouth.

For example "bad boy" or others. Speech like that, other than there's no point because it will not improve the child's behavior, also formed a negative self concept in children. There are several possible ways to overcome the child's misbehavior which repeated. By expressing compassion, for example, Toddlers always want more attention from parents.

They will be happy if parents show an expression of affection. For example, by holding, rubbing his head or just talking with gentleness. You also need to have patience with the mischievous toddler. Parent's patience is required when educating children.

Patience from parents sometimes can make a child understand that what he was doing is wrong. In contrary violence will increasingly child behaviors to resist and rebel. That is why this work need extra patience from parents.
Although toddlers do wrong, do not immediately snapped them. Because it will hurt her feelings. This can cause resentment to the child when he/she grew up. Revenge on the child will also affect the nature of her future as adults. Your baby will become irritable person and like to do violence. Be angry if the child actually has one, such as spitting on mother or father. However, before gently give advice because the child will touch the soul with gentleness.