Can Children Be Spoilt With Too Much Love?

From the moment babies are born, parents often receive warnings from well-intended friends and family members not to carry their babies too often, and not to give in to their crying. From the moment they are born, parents are warned to start training their babies to be "independent" or they will grow up to become clingy, dependent children. Parents who fail to heed this advice risk "spoiling" their children and setting up "bad habits" that will be difficult to break later on.

Many parents worry about spoiling their children and easily fall prey to flawed advice. Instead of heeding their own instincts to pick up their babies when they cry, they try to ignore their babies' needs. Such practices not only damage the relationship between parent and child, but it has a detrimental effect upon the baby's development.

The First Fallacy - Babies Should Not Be Carried Too Often

Firstly, babies need to be carried as much as possible. They need to be touched and held. This need is as important to their growth and development as food, water, a clean diaper and sunlight. This need was evidenced at the end of the Second World War when many infants were left parentless. In order to determine what were the best methods for taking care of orphaned babies, a Swiss doctor traveled around Europe studying the different environments that these babies were raised.

In some parts, he saw babies being cared for in American field hospitals with their pristine conditions. Nurses attended to the babies' basic needs by the clock - they were fed special infant formula and returned immediately after to their stainless steel cots. In other parts, babies were deposited at remote mountain villages where they were cared for in the arms of the village women, surrounded by other children and animals. They drank goat's milk and ate from the communal stock pot. These infants lived in conditions that could hardly have been considered hygienic. Yet the results of the study were surprising - it was found that the children who lived in the villages thrived better than those raised in the scientifically-managed hospitals.

It was concluded that:

* infants need frequent skin-to-skin contact from two or three significant people
* infants need movement of a fairly robust kind, e.g. being carried around, bouncing on a knee, etc.
* infants need eye-contact, smiling, colourful and lively environment, and sounds, such as singing, talking, etc.

Far from needing to be carried less, we should be carrying our babies more!

The Second Fallacy - Crying Babies Are Manipulating Us

Babies cry to communicate their needs to their parents. Without the ability to cry, they lose their ability to articulate their needs. Parents who deliberately ignore a baby's cries are unwittingly teaching their baby that their needs are not important. It creates distrust and gives a child a bleak outlook on life - that no on can be relied upon, not even parents.

One common reason why parents might allow their babies to "cry-it-out" is when they are attempting to "train" their baby to sleep alone. It is common for babies to fight their parents' desire for them to sleep alone. Babies aren't aware of the world the way we are. They are primitive beings with a strong instinct for survival. In the wild, infants who lost their parents are eaten by predators, therefore the instinct to be close to a parent or bigger person is a very normal one.

Babies don't know that they are safe in their cribs and that their parents are just in the next room, so they cry. They aren't trying to manipulate their parents. They are articulating a real need that parents should fulfill.

Changing Relationship as Children Grow Older

Even as babies grow older, they still require the attention, love and physical closeness of their parents. Providing these does not spoil them or make them clingy, dependent children. On the contrary, a strong and secure relationship between parent and child serves to help children become more independent as they grow older. They are less afraid to take steps on their own because they are secure in the knowledge that they have a safe place to return to.

You cannot spoil a child with love, touch and tending to their calls for help. Such responsiveness is imperative to a child's healthy development, however, the manner in which you respond may change as a child grows older and begins to test boundaries - such as crying as a means to get their way. How you respond to a child should be age-appropriate with the understanding of how a child feels. Remember that the process of growing up provides children with lots of challenges and it is important listen openly and to be able to see their situation from their perspective.

As your child grows older and his or her personality begins to develop, you may also find that different approaches work with different children. While there is a need to take into consideration individual differences, it is important to realize that children need appropriate limits that must be adhered to. Such limits provide a sense of safety and security for your child. Remember, it is your duty to set the limits and your child's to test them. By being firm and consistent, yet kind as you enforce the rules, you are teaching your child how to become a responsible member of society. You are also creating a secure environment for your child to grow up in.

Tips For Getting Started With Breastfeeding

It cannot be emphasized enough that breast milk is the best source of nutrition you can give to your baby. A complete food source specially formulated for your baby, breast milk contains all the nutrients (there is at least 400), hormones and antibodies your baby needs for optimal development. Despite many attempts to mimic breast milk, no formula has ever succeeded to replicate all the benefits that breast milk provides.

As your baby grows, your breast milk will change to suit whichever stage of development your baby is at. Your breast milk is tailored for your baby and your baby alone - no formula can boast such claims. Aside from the brain building, infection fighting benefits of breast milk, breastfeeding also helps to nurture a special bond between you and your baby. The skin-to-skin contact, cuddling and holding involved during breastfeeding is an important part of a baby's development that is not only beneficial to baby but to you as well.

Okay, so we know that breastfeeding is beneficial to you and your baby, but how does one get started?

Ideally, you should begin breastfeeding your baby as soon as possible after delivery. Let your doctor know about your decision to breastfeed your baby and ample opportunity can be arranged for you to nurse your baby while you are still in the delivery room. This first nursing session is one of the most important sessions because a baby's root reflex (the urge to suckle) is strongest right at birth and begins to diminish the longer you wait.

At this stage, your breasts are producing a substance known as colostrum that contains important antibodies that help protect your baby from infections and to line your baby's intestines to prepare them to receive full milk. Colostrum will continue to be produced for the first 3-5 days after delivery before the breast begins to produce mature milk.

Breastfeeding for the first time can be quite a challenge and it is important to get as much support as possible. If you aren't sure how to go about it, get help from the hospital's lactation consultant, or a good friend or family member who has breastfed a baby before. Having the right support can sometimes make the different between mothers who persist with breastfeeding and those that eventually give up. Remember that breastfeeding is an art that will require a lot of patience and practice.

If your baby has trouble finding or staying on your nipple, don't panic. Remember that there are two inexperienced individuals in the picture - you and your baby - and you both need time to adjust to one another and develop a nursing relationship. It is important to learn how to get a correct latch, position yourself comfortably and to break the suction when you need to. Make sure you have learned these three things before you leave the hospital.

A proper latch at the start should not be painful. However, nursing during the early days can cause your nipples to feel raw. This sensitivity will eventually subside - but be prepared for it to last a couple of weeks. Applying a barrier cream like Bepanthen after each nursing can help to lessen the sensitivity. Because of this initial tenderness, it can be difficult to tell if the pain is from an improper latch. If you aren't sure, check with the lactation consultant. With a proper latch, the baby's mouth should cover most of the areola (the darkened skin).

If your baby hasn't gotten a proper latch, break the suction and start again. It is important to ensure that your baby learns how to latch properly and not to continue nursing if your baby has latched on poorly. If allowed to continue, your baby will develop a bad habit of latching on poorly which is not only painful for you in the long run but makes feeding time more inefficient for your baby.

During the first few days, you should nurse frequently because the more often you nurse, the more quickly your mature milk will come in and the more milk you will produce. A good practice to adopt is to breastfeed for 10-15 minutes per breast at least 8 - 10 times a day. If for, any reason, you are not able to nurse your baby, you can help encourage your breasts to produce more milk by applying a breast pump to it. One recommendation is to use an electric pump on the lowest setting for as long as you would otherwise nurse your baby.

Crying during the early days is often a sign of hunger and it is important to feed your baby before he or she starts crying. Sometimes this may mean waking up your baby to begin breastfeeding. You may also find that your baby falls asleep easily during feeding. Jaundiced babies, especially, tend to be very lethargic and often don't wake up for feeds. They especially need to be woken up to feed because breast milk helps them to excrete bilirubin (which is the breakdown product of red blood cells that causes jaundice). A good guide to follow is to wake your baby up if it has been four hours since the last feed.By Shen Li Lee

Six 'Hows' of Choosing Good Books For Your Children to Read

Selecting a book for children to read can be quite a difficult decision. Often you will make mistakes about choosing books such as choosing books that interest you more, are too difficult for your child, don't interest your kid. This article looks at six factors to help you choose books with more success.

How it looks

When choosing books for your students or children to read, one of the first and most important things you should consider is if the appearance of the book is attractive to children. The child will see the cover of the book first, so don't choose something that looks boring. This will immediately lose their interest, especially for those who do not particularly enjoy reading anyway. Ideally, the book's cover should be colorful and give some idea of what the book is about. If you can capture the child's interest as soon as they first set eyes on the book, then half the battle is won.

How long it is

Another important factor to take into account is the length of the book. The more accomplished readers will have finished reading, when the rest of the children are still in the middle of it if the book is too short. If a book is too long, this can discourage children as soon as they see it. For children of ten and under, a book should take no longer than three to five days, and no more than eight to ten days for older children.

How many illustrations

Illustrations are very important to stimulate a child's imagination. They provide a break between all those words, so that it doesn't get monotonous. In fact, most children tend to look through the illustrations before they even begin reading the book. Good illustrations or photographs can capture a child's interest, and often encourage them to want to read the book in order to understand what the interesting pictures are about. A drawing or photograph can also maintain a reader's interest.

How big the words

Check that the font size and style of the book is suitable for young eyes. Younger children can find it difficult to focus on small type and tightly spaced sentences. For readers under the age of eight, it is easier for them if the type is larger than normal, and for those under the age of seven double-spaced sentences are best.

How it connects

Choosing a book that is part of a series can be a good idea to keep the children interested. That way, the children can get to know a character, and follow their adventures through a series of books. Reading books that are part of a series also makes a child eager to get to the next adventure, wanting to know what happens next, and can make them realize how enjoyable reading can be.

How interesting

Finally, choose an interesting subject. A good idea would be to discuss with the children what types of books they think that they might enjoy. Present some ideas to them, and then choose one that most have agreed on. You can always reserve the remaining subjects for another time. By Kenneth Dickson

Parents Play The Most Central, Yet Vulnerable Roles In Children's Music Education

The three basic parties who take part in children’s music education are the child, the teacher (or teachers) and the parents.

To best understand how the young musician will regard music lessons, we must ask: “How should parents plan for the musical education of their children and what they know about it?”

As a rule, there are two main things to consider: the choice and cost of the instrument, auxiliary materials and lessons; and the search for a good teacher. After that, the preparation for the child’s musical training is largely complete. However, buying the instrument and paying for lessons are not the most complex part of music education, although many parents think so and believe that the rest is up to the teacher and the child, who is obliged to frequent music lessons on a regular basis and do the homework. In fact, to parents, it all seems very easy! “Did you do your homework today? Have you practiced that piece enough? Have you learned the fingers in an etude? Come on, play the piece you had to memorize!”

Here’s the simple truth: The reasons behind one’s success in music education as well as the loss of interest creep in absolutely imperceptibly, and often during quite a long period of time.

First, then, let’s discuss what happens when a child loses interest.

Again, parents are the most integral and important parts of the equation when it comes to their children’s success or loss of interest in musical education. When a child gets bored with his or her lessons, the parents, who by that point are exhausted by battles with the child to practice and often feel financially pinched from the costs of the instrument and the lessons, must then face the difficult decision of whether to terminate the lessons.

While preparing the materials for my book, Voices of our Children, I talked to parents and teachers and asked them what they considered to be the prime reason behind the child’s loss of interest. Can you guess who a whopping 80 percent considered to be at fault? The child! It was he/she who did not want to continue the education!

What’s more important is that after terminating the lessons, very few parents asked themselves why their child lost interest. Let’s look the perspective of each participant in this scenario:

The child. He is happy! His “tortures” have finally ended. He no longer has to hear unpleasant things about his careless attitude toward music lessons. No one will ever force him to learn music against his will! Now he is free from tiresome lessons and can spend time doing things he likes!

The teacher. Not every teacher, especially not those who often lose students, will search for the real reasons behind a child’s loss of interest in music lessons. It is easier for some teachers to accuse or blame the student than to admit to their own mistakes.

In this case, what does the teacher do? He quickly forgets about former students and places an ad to get new ones – he has to earn a living. It’s just a job.

Parents. Believe it or not, but I think that when the child quits musical training, the parents suffer the most – not only because they have invested in this venture materially, but because along with the termination of music education they must part with their own dreams, hopes, and an opportunity to discover and develop their child’s true talent that might not have been obvious.

Now, when the child quits music lessons, he can quickly redirect his attention to new interests. The teacher, who has lost the student, can compensate for his loss by finding a replacement. But the parents do suffer the most – they cannot “move on” – they cannot replace own child with another!

Therefore, to avoid this problem before it hits home, I strongly believe parents should prepare for their children’s music education ahead of time. They should know beforehand what awaits them in the future, and should be ready for possible hardships.By Tatiana Bandurina

Six Tips To Help Your Overweight Children Lose Weight

Childhood obesity has more than tripled over the past 40 years. More than 30% of children and teens are overweight and 20% are classified as obese. Most parents wait for their child to grow out of it, encouraging them to be proud of who they are. That is certainly noble in theory, but being overweight increases the risk for type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, elevated blood cholesterol levels, and premature heart disease.

It can certainly be a challenge for parents to provide children with opportunities to lead a healthy lifestyle. You never know what they could be stuffing down their mouths in the school cafeteria or at their friend' house. That is why it is so important to teach proper nutrition in the home. They will not learn about it in school, not even in health class. The more you practice good health at home, the better choices they will make out in the world.

Here are a few weight loss tips to get your children started on the road to good health.

Children Lose Weight Tips #1: Be The Example Yourself

If you are overweight or obese yourself, you are setting a bad example for your children. Be a responsible parent and go on a diet. Yes, YOU! Children often mimic what their parents do, and if you are fat, they will think it is OK to be fat. It is a rare occasion that I see fat children with skinny parents, and vice versa. How often do you see fat kinds with skinny parents, or skinny kids with fat parents? Not too common.

Children Lose Weight Tips #2: Pack Their Lunch For Them

Do not hand over a five dollar bill for your child to purchase a lunch themselves just because you are lazy in the morning. Nine times out of ten they will spend it on junk food because you are not there to tell them no. If you want your children to eat properly, do the most you can. Pack their lunch so they are forced to eat it. If that is all they have, they will suffer through it and come out better in the end.

Children Lose Weight Tips #3: Think Ahead

Kinds want to grow up fast but they do not think of the consequences once getting there without planning. Studies show that if a child remains obese by the age of 10-14, they have nearly an 80% chance of remaining at a dangerously heavy weight through adulthood. Let them know that, especially if it scares you (which it should!). A childs weight is the most important predictor of whether or not the child will become an obese adult. Nearly 65% of obese adolescents will still be obese as adults, even if neither parent is obese.

Children Lose Weight Tips #4: Eat Together

When I was a child, it was a rare occasion that my family ate dinner in separate rooms. Do not let your child heat up a burrito and slam it down in their room in front of their computer or television. It is important to monitor their eating and make sure they are paying attention to the luxury of having dinner, especially if they are trying to lose weight. Eating together as a family is an activity that will help everyone follow a healthier lifestyle.

Children Lose Weight Tips #5: Fix Them A Healthy Breakfast

You know this is the most important meal of the day, so handing over a sugary pop-tart to your child on their way out of the house is extremely counter-productive. And do not even think about stopping off at Starbucks and buying them a fatty latte either. A healthy breakfast at home does not have to be time consuming. I make a soy based protein smoothy every morning that provides me with the best nutrition possible. It takes me literally 2 minutes to make it in the blender.

Children Lose Weight Tips #6: Introduce Healthy Snacking

Children are quite active with school, sports and other extra-curricular activities. It makes sense that they need a boost of energy in between meals. Stock your cupboards and refrigerator with healthy snacks instead of processed trigger foods. Cut fruits and vegetables so they can grab them just as they would a candy bar. Protein bars and soy nuts are a great alternative to cookies and chips. Premix flavored water with green tea to give them natural energy boosts instead of providing high sugar soda and sports drinks they are not healthy.

Helping a child to develop lifelong healthy habits can be rewarding in so many ways. Introducing healthy alternatives into your child's diet is not rocket science. Try the Children Lose Weight tips listed above to prevent resistance to healthier eating. As a parent, you are responsible for what, when and where your children eat. It is up to you to help your children adopt a healthy lifestyle.By William Winch

Is It Safe to Continue Breastfeeding While Nipples are Sore?

Breastfeeding your own baby is a source of great joy, especially after all the stress you have gone through during pregnancy and birth-giving. But the pain of sore nipples makes breastfeeding a terrible thing for some mothers.

Nipples that have the feeling of swelling, painful, hard, and feverish are what lactating mothers complain most of the time when breastfeeding. Sore nipples should not stop you from giving the best nutrition to your baby, and that is your breast milk. What you should do is to look for ways that will help you solve your problems regarding sore nipples and continue the breastfeeding.

It is always safe to continue breastfeeding even while the nipples are sore. Just make sure that the treatments you are using for your sore nipples are safe and not harmful for you and your baby.

There are different ways on how you can treat your sore nipples while you safely continue breastfeeding the baby. Herbal medicines, for one instance, are effective yet safe. These herbs are proven to not only treat sore nipples, but also help in producing smooth and continuous flow of breast milk. Soaking the nipples on warm water with basil leaves or teabags will stimulate fast healing, but make sure to wash the breast, especially the nipples before breastfeeding.

Another treatment for sore nipples is the use of creams. Lanolin (100 cotton and always choose the ones that are not too tight because tight bras will make your milk duct clogged.

If your nipples are sore and painful due to breastfeeding, never opt to stop or discontinue breastfeeding for a while because it will only worsen the problem and cause you even greater pains later on. Just choose the right remedies to relieve the sore and pains of your nipples and then allow your baby to latch on for the baby’s better physical and psychological development. By James Smith

Tips for Buying Gifts for a Baby Boy

Trying to decide the perfect gift to buy for a baby boy can be a little challenging. It can be especially hard for those individuals that do not have kids or who never shop for little baby boys. However it is possible to find perfect and appropriate gifts for any baby boy.

One of the easiest things to do is ask the parents what the baby boy needs. Sometimes there are certain clothing items that individuals are lacking and may want to be given. Most baby boys can always use loungewear and other things that they can be comfortable in. Most babies spend the majority of their first months simply lying around and they go from one lounging outfit to another. Some baby boys may not go out of the house for a month or more when they are first born and while they are in the hospital their parents generally keep them in comfortable lounging clothes. Babies are known to spit up and basically mess up their clothes so some baby boys might go through several lounging outfits in one day. Lounging outfits also come in a variety of colors and styles so it is easy to get something that looks good.

It might also be a good idea to think about the parents likes and dislikes when buying items for their baby. Some parents dress up all the time or like to be business casual wherever they go so it might be a good idea to get some casual outfits for the baby boy. Button down shirts or polos would be a good idea and would make the little man just as sophisticated as his parents. On the other hand some parents might be more daring when it comes to fashion and like funky looking t-shirts and like to stay up on the latest fashion trends. It might be a good idea to buy their baby boy t-shirts and lots of stylish accessories that really stand out.

It might also be a nice gesture to buy toys or furniture for a baby boy. Toys that make noise or are helpful for keeping small children entertained will probably go over well with the baby and his parents. Most children enjoy music so items that make music will probably go over well. The items purchased do not have to be extremely expensive since baby boys grow so fast but they should be of nice quality to ensure they will hold up to the multiple washings and other abuse that is likely to occur.

When picking out gifts for any baby boy it is best to think of practical gifts that the parents as well as the baby can actually use. When trying to pick the perfect gift it is also a good idea for individuals to buy gifts that they would buy for their son. Clothing and fun gifts are toys are some of the most popular gifts for baby boys and most individuals find they can’t go wrong when they go that route.

10 Tips For Happy Breastfeeding Technique

- Make sure you are comfortable. Whether you choose to feed lying down or sitting up make sure you are comfortable and will be able to remain comfortable if you have to stay there for an extended period of time. Some mothers choose to sit in a rocking chair or up in bed with pillows behind the back.

- Make sure you are have some breastfeeding clothes that open at the front well enough to allow you to hold your baby close to your breast. Better still, go topless while you are learning to breastfeed. This has many advantages. It provides close skin to skin contact with your baby which boosts those warm fuzzy feeling hormones which will make lots of milk.

- Hold your baby close and remove any wraps or excess clothing.

- Make sure you baby's entire body is turned towards you so that the hips, tummy and chest are against you.

- Gently touch the baby's mouth with the nipple. Your baby will open its mouth instinctively when you bring the nipple to it. This is the rooting reflex.

- Some mothers find it helpful to support the breast with the opposite hand as the baby attaches. If you do this make sure that your hand is well away from the areola so as not to get in the way of the baby's mouth.

- Encourage your baby to open the mouth nice and wide.

- As you brush your nipple against the mouth, your baby will open wide for the breast. Avoid moving the breast or chasing the open mouth. Hold the breast still and the natural rooting reflex will help your baby to find the nipple. Just wait for the open mouth and bring your baby nice and close. The tongue will come forward and you baby will latch on. Most of the time this ensures a good, natural attachment. If you have trouble or feel unsure, ask for help.

- Bring the baby to the breast rather than the breast to the baby.

- You might find it helpful to support your baby behind the shoulders as you bring it to the breast in quick, gentle motion.

Sometimes in spite of a mothers best efforts and all the encouragement and support in the world, breastfeeding challenges cannot be conquered.