It is vitally important to encourage children when they have successes in their lives no matter how big or small those achievements might be. Whether it is taking their first steps, tying their shoes for the first time or graduating from high school our reactions, our encouragement and support as parents is what will mean the most to them.
There are some positive reinforcing words that can become a part of our vocabulary that will let children know that they are supported, encouraged and loved. The best thing we can do is make sure that they know they are loved unconditionally. This can be achieved by making sure the words "I love you" are a part of their daily lives. Never have any type of "but..." at the end of that sentence. Being loved no matter what they do, what they say or what happens will give them the knowledge that they are important and cared for and loved always.
When a child does something that we don't appreciate it is important to make sure they know it is the action we are displeased with. We always love them, just not everything they do. They are always loved, appreciated and supported even when things don't go right. You can dislike what they do but still feel the same wonderful feelings about them as a person. It should never be a response of "You're bad" . The things they do may not be supported but they always are.
Positive reinforcement when they do good things can be our best tool to get them to continue doing positive things. If a child feels supported and gets attention for doing good things then that will be where they put their energy. If they only get attention when they misbehave then they will look for attention however they can get it. So it is important to focus on their successes.
No matter how small the achievement might seem to someone else it is a big thing to them. Below is a list of words and phrases that can encourage kids to have confidence in themselves and know that the grown ups in their life have confidence in them too.
That was excellent! Good job! Well done! Awesome! You can do it! Yea, you did it! Terrific! You are really smart You did great Keep trying, I Know you can do it Great effort Thanks your help was appreciated I am proud of you That was hard, you did so well You are really good at that You are so creative, well done It's so much fun spending time with you You are so thoughtful, thanks! Wow, you are awesome! You tried so hard. You'll get it next time Keep up the great work! I love your enthusiasm. You are so talented! You are such a great help.
No matter what words you use, your kids will remember the encouragement, love and support you show them. It will give them the confidence and strength to try new things and know that it is okay even if they don't do well the first time.
They will know that they are talented in lots of areas of their lives and they will carry your confidence building statements through out their lives. Whether you are there or not they will know that they are capable, smart and talented in many things.
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